Characters: 30 featured roles, principals & supporting (doubling possible)
Running Time: Approx 1 hr 30 mins


The action is set in an old tavern called the Stumble Inn, on board Neptune’s Kneecap and the Sneaky Mermaid ships and on the shores and in the jungle of the mysterious Earwax Island.


Polly Perkins, a young orphan girl, runs away after being given a strange map by a mysterious fortune teller. She heads straight for the port where she stows away onboard a ship called Neptune’s Kneecap and meets Captain Utterplank and his incompetent crew of pirates.

Before they can throw her overboard, Polly shows them the map and explains it will lead them to the legendary lost treasure of the infamous Captain Crabfoot. Very soon Neptune’s Kneecap has set sail in search of Earwax Island where the treasure is reportedly buried, and in hot pursuit is the all-female crew of the Sneaky Mermaid who want to lay claim to the treasure themselves.

For more information and prices please contact me here.   A sample of this script is available here.


Character List

Polly Perkins, our hero
Newton Utterplank, the captain 
Dungfungus, the quartermaster 
Mistress Betsy Batterspoon, the cook
Humble Bellows, the sailing master
Otto the Hack, the carpenter and surgeon
Cannonball Lil, the master gunner
Lanky Nibbs, an able seaman
Grumpy Roger, an able seaman
Ruby Barracuda, the captain
Katie McKracken, the quartermaster
Peggy Pegleg, the boatswain 
Sally Scallywag, an able seawoman
Queasy Sue, an able seawoman
Barnacle Babs, an able seawoman
Consuela the Fish, an able seawoman
Ooga Ugg, shipwrecked as a baby and brought up by monkeys
Chimp Friday, a talking chimpanzee
Grimgut, an orc guard
Gorwort, another orc guard
Lionara, head of the Kitty-Purr-Paka Tribe of Cat People
Leopardu, a Tribe member
Tigeruz, a Tribe member
Cheetahri, a Tribe member
Fluffy, a Tribe member
Mistress Hetty Clanger, the tavern owner
Morgana Bullmog, an old fortune teller
Tobias Crabfoot, the Captain
Bartholomew Kragg, the sailing master
Old Gus, a seaman